Perdition
by cestlavie0919
Summary: In the middle of a battle, Stiles sacrifices himself to save the ones he loves, hoping Derek and the rest of his pack can figure out how to save him before a demon unleashes hell on earth. This story is pretty dark...
1. Sacrifice

The werewolves were moving so fast, they were all blurs in Stiles' human sight, though he tried to keep his focus on the one he loved… They were losing. All of them, and all he had to do was stop resisting long enough to let the shadows overtake him. His sacrifice could save his friends. Derek warned him of the dangers associated with strengthening his magic. Derek warned that where there's magic, demons will flock. And now, his pack, his friends, brothers, his Mate, even… they were dying to protect him. Stiles knew he could never live with the guilt of their deaths. Since werewolves couldn't be possessed, he had to be the one.

"Derek," Stiles called, his voice shaking.

"What?" Derek replied hotly. "I'm sort of busy at the moment."

Stiles looked in his direction. "I love you," he said. Derek instantly knew what was about to happen.

Stiles let his force field drop. "NO!" Derek screamed as the shadows entered through his Mate's mouth, eyes, and nose. Stiles collapsed. Derek rushed to his side, the remaining demons simply vanished. Stiles body was limp in the Alpha's arms. "Stiles," he whispered, trying to contain the sorrow he felt. "Stiles wake up…"

He held his Mate to his chest, sobbing. Scott and Isaac approached slowly. "Derek…" Isaac started.

"Leave us alone!" the Alpha commanded. The betas obeyed, stepping back. Derek needed more privacy than that. "GO!" he bellowed. The pack slowly retreated out, all of them feeling the loss of their friend, believing him dead as Derek did.

Derek ran his fingers through his Mate's hair, tears trickling from his cheek and falling on the body in his arms. He tenderly wiped away the dirt and blood from the peaceful face looking up at him. "We could have taken them… you didn't need to do this," Derek cried softly. The body stirred, giving Derek hope that perhaps his Mate was not lost. His eyes fluttered open, but rather than the beautiful light brown that Derek had committed to memory, his eyes were entirely black voids.

"Touching sentiments, mutt," the words coming from Stiles' mouth were not words Derek would ever hear. "He didn't do it to save you, he did it to save himself. Humans do that, you know…" An evil smile curled on Stiles' lips and Derek was thrown backwards by an unseen force.

"Let him go!" Derek growled, managing to land on his feet. He shifted. His claws were ready.

"I really don't think I will," the voice said. "I've been waiting centuries for a Mage strong enough to handle my power. I wanted a powerful Alpha at my disposal, but you mongrels are off limits…"

"I'll fucking kill you," Derek promised.

"Again, I really don't think you will," the demon chuckled. "You injure me, and Stiles feels the pain. Try to kill me using any physical means, I'll just find another host and leave you his corpse. But if you cooperate… I'll return him to you unharmed."

"How do I know you haven't destroyed him already?" Derek demanded.

The demon cocked its head to the side, the black voids in his eyes faded, replaced by the familiar eyes of his Mate. "Derek… I'm sorry…" Stiles' voice sounded weak.

"It's alright, Stiles. Hang in there. We'll free you, I promise… I love you," Derek managed before the demon was once again in control.

"So here are the terms of my arrangement. You help me unleash all manner of hell onto this miserable rock… you get your little boytoy back."

"Don't call him my boytoy," Derek warned. "I'll do what I need to in order to save him… but if you harm him in any way, I will make you regret it."

"Such empty words from the wounded puppy," the Demon teased, offering his hand. "Shake on it, mutt."

Reluctantly, he offered his hand to the Demon. Stiles' skin felt icy against his own. "What is your name?"

The demon bowed theatrically. "Malphas… you should remember it! It sounds similar to 'Alpha' which is what you _claim_ to be. Though you _do_ have one of the largest and most powerful packs in the world thanks to your Mate… I can feel your bond. It's powerful."

Derek growled. Every word out of the demon's mouth made Derek want to eviscerate him, but he couldn't… not without harming Stiles.

Malphas smiled. "Go home and lick your wounds. We'll start bright and early tomorrow."

"You'll stay in my sight!" Derek commanded.

Malphas shook his head. "No, I'm not. I'm going to go test out the full range of his magic. While I've got it, I'm going to use it."

Derek watched helplessly as Malphas disappeared before him, taking Stiles. He didn't trust the demon to hold his end of the bargain. Reluctantly, he returned home. The rest of the pack were waiting on him. "Where's Stiles?" Scott asked as Derek walked through the door.

Derek sighed. Even explaining it hurt. Being so far away from his Mate was painful. Derek couldn't look his betas in the eyes.

"Is he alive?" Isaac asked cautiously.

Derek nodded. "He's been possessed."

"No!" Scott protested. "We have to get him back!"

Derek looked defeated. "How, Scott? His magic was the one defense we had against them."

"I don't know! But we don't just let them take him! He's my brother! For God's sake he's your fucking Mate!" Scott insisted.

"Don't you think I know that?" Derek yelled back. "Don't you think that it's killing me that he isn't right here right now?"

"I'm sorry…" Scott apologized. "I just… we need to get him back."

"None of us disagree with that, Scott. He's my best friend… but Derek's right… how do we fight something who is using him against us?" Isaac interjected, wanting to keep tensions in the pack low. All of them felt the loss of Stiles. The demon had blocked his connection to the pack and they felt physically weaker without him.

"I can't do this right now," Derek sighed. Cora flashed a look to Peter. She had never seen Derek like this. She wanted to go comfort her brother but the grave look on her uncle's face told her that she shouldn't.

As Derek retreated into his room, he leaned against door, collapsing under the weight of his own hopeless grief. He didn't sleep that night. He stared at the spot on his bed where Stiles should have been.

The next morning he went downstairs. Nobody spoke. None of them had Mates so none of them understood the excruciating pain of being without Stiles. He could barely feel their link and when he did, Stiles felt panicked. He was stuck in the cycle of thoughts that left him feeling hopeless. Finally he decided to try and get some information about the demon who had his Mate.

Derek got into his car. Peter ran out. "Where are you going? We need to come up with a plan of attack."

"Who died and made you Alpha?" Derek growled.

"We want him back just as much as you do," Peter said, foolishly.

Derek's eyes narrowed. "Is that so?"

"You know what I mean, Derek… you can't just have this little pity party. We all lost him."

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Derek roared. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT! He isn't lost. We'll get him back…" Tears threatened to spill from his eyes again. He beat his fist against his steering wheel. "We'll get him back…" he sobbed.

"Well, where are you going?" Peter asked.

Derek wiped the tears away from his face. "Maybe Deaton will have some information about the demon who possessed him."

"I'll come with you," Peter said.

"No," Derek replied quickly. "Stay here. Make sure they don't do anything stupid."

Peter crouched down so he was eye level with his nephew. "We'll find him, Derek."

* * *

Stiles fought. He fought hard. He built layers upon layers of magical blocks trying to restrict the amount of power Malphas had access to. He was not going to go down without a fight. "What are you doing?" Malphas demanded, appearing to him from within his own mind.

"I'm not going to just hand you my magic," Stiles said defiantly.

"And what if I told you that I would force you to watch as I spit roast your precious mate and feed you his carcass unless you obey?" Malphas threatened.

Stiles laughed. "I'd tell you to go fuck yourself. You're limited in what you can use my magic for."

"What do you mean?" Malphas asked, clearly caught off guard by that.

"My magic is fueled by my love. You can't operate it. So whatever you had planned for me, you really should have done your research a little better," Stiles replied smugly.

"You're lying…" Malphas spat.

"Am I? Are you willing to call that bluff in the heat of the moment? I have you where I want you, Malphas. You're here because of my sacrifice."

"Read up on demonology, you little shit! I eat sacrifices for breakfast!" the Demon fumed.

"You're the Demon of vanity and greed. What in my action was vain or greedy?" Stiles asked.

"You did it to save your beloved Alpha," Malphas replied.

"No… I did it to save my pack. I sacrificed myself for seven different people… and I love every single one of them," Stiles smirked.

"I still have control over your body," Malphas argued.

"But for how long?" Stiles challenged. "Because I can guarantee you that my Pack won't let me go without a fight… and how can you fight them when you're too busy fighting me?"

Malphas saw the flaw in his plan. He knew that Stiles was a powerful mage, but he knew nothing of the source of his magic. He could keep control over the body for several weeks, but after that, he would have to leave and return to the underworld to refuel if Stiles cut off his access to magic. That just meant he would have to move things along a little more quickly, then.

* * *

"A quiet drive to clear your thoughts?" Malphas asked, appearing in the passenger seat of Derek's car. Derek slammed on the braked, causing the car to skid several yards as he struggled to maintain control of the vehicle. As the car finally came to a stop, Malphas chuckled. "No… you seem like more of the brood in the dark kind of man. It's what attracted Stiles to you in the first place… did you know that?"

Derek could feel the ache in his chest, hearing Stiles' voice, but not his words… seeing his Mate but knowing it wasn't him. "What do you want, Malphas?" Derek growled through gritted teeth.

"Your little chewtoy has decided to block me from using his magic. So I have one of two options available to me… I can either have you convince him that it's a bad idea… or I can move up the schedule."

"I don't know what you expect me to do," Derek replied. His voice even sounded hopeless. It was the sort of thing Malphas loved. "Werewolves don't really have any magic of their own."

Malphas smiled. "Both it is…" he waved his hand, forcing Derek out of the vehicle and slamming him into a nearby tree. Derek didn't cry out, though. This pain was nothing in comparison.

"I want you to see this, Stiles," Malphas announced. "Understand that crossing me has dire consequences." Derek's arms twisted backwards, making sickening pops. Stiles fought harder. He chanted spells, trying to build their power up. He was severely weakened, still, from the energy he'd spent the night before. He could feel himself rising to the surface until finally he managed a breath of fresh air. He had broken through, but the effort it was taking was too much. He had moments, if that.

"Derek… I'm here…" he managed.

"Stiles?" Derek replied, looking up, his arms and legs needing several minutes to heal.

"Give him hell," Stiles told him before his eyes were once again consumed by blackness. Malphas was incredibly shaken by Stiles' ability to break through, but he hid it well. He had the added benefit of knowing that it had taken quite some energy for him to do that and he would need to rest.

"He's a fighter, Derek…" Malphas teased. "He's fighting for you. Do you think he heard how defeated you were? Do you think it registered for him that you've considered the possibility that he'll never return to you?"

Derek growled, his eyes glowing red as he struggled to push himself back to his feet.

"What will you do when I hand you his broken corpse. Demons are not known for their patience, Derek. Any more misbehaving from either of you and I will not hesitate to tie you up with wolfsbane and force you to watch as torture him into insanity, peel his skin off the muscle and give you his bones as a reward," Malphas threatened.

"You need him," Derek challenged.

"Do you want to call this bluff?"

Derek's defiant stance faded once again. He could never gamble like that with Stiles' life.

"Good dog," Malphas cackled. He couldn't control Stiles, but he could definitely control the wolf. And if by the end of this, Derek had broken beyond repair… that would just be a bonus.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading! I swear this story will get happier... I don't like tormenting Derek for too long... he's been tortured enough in his life. Please give feedback.


	2. Strength

Stiles felt weak. Weaker than he'd ever felt before in his life. His fight to get control had sapped him of all energy and now, it was all he could do to keep up the blocks that kept Malphas from his magic. The impulsivity of love was one thing that the demon never factored in, though it frequently worked in his favor.

He could feel his connection to Derek and the Pack waning and that was what hurt the most. He just hoped that they could free him before any real damage had been done. So there Stiles sat in the prison of his body as he watched a demon manipulate the people he loved into doing horrible things. Stiles knew little of the magic Malphas was trying to invoke, yet he knew it involved the veil between their world and the world of monsters too horrible to name. If ever there were a time that he missed being ignorant of all things magical, now was it.

When he was just Derek's Mate, things were easier. They were by no means simple, but they were much easier than they were now. Then Deaton gave him that damned book. He awakened a force within himself that he thought he could contain… and for so long he did. The magic was powerful… and it was dark. He was capable of things that truly horrified him and he swore that he'd never use his magic like that, though the temptations were always there… bubbling under the surface and calling to him. It was Derek who gave him the power to fight those temptations… to be good and to force his magic to obey. And his pack became stronger for it. There was a struggle inside him between good and evil constantly waging and Stiles knew without a doubt that he could resist the urge to follow the darker path as long as he had Derek to guide him to the light.

Yet now as he watched Derek slip further and further away from him, he wasn't sure he could rely on that source of inspiration anymore and it frightened him.

It was his inherent darkness that attracted the demons. Derek warned that it could happen, but they fended the creatures off and in the process, learned an important truth about Stiles and his magic… Demons wanted it and Stiles had to keep it out of their hands no matter the cost.

Malphas appeared to him. "You're weak, Mage…" he cackled. "Your defenses will eventually break… as will you."

"Did you steal that from a movie?" Stiles asked. "You're a little too theatrical for me. I need you to tone it down if you expect me to take you seriously."

"Joke all you want… the tide is turning in my favor," Malphas replied.

"For now," Stiles replied. "But there's a funny thing about tides… they tend to change."

Malphas flashed an unreadable smile and disappeared, leaving Stiles alone to meditate and work on reinforcing his blockade.

* * *

Peter and the rest of the pack sat in the living room, discussing their options if Derek was incapable of saving Stiles.

"One thing we know for sure: Malphas is a strong demon and he needs a host. If we take away that host, Malphas is gone," he said.

"Yes," Scott replied. "But how do we take away his host without killing Stiles."

"We could resurrect him. I came back from the dead… so can he," Peter shrugged.

Isaac shook his head. "It's too much of a risk. What if it doesn't work?"

"What if… what if… what if…" Peter repeated, rolling his eyes. "It's always doom and gloom with this group."

"Excuse me if I'm less than thrilled about the idea of killing my Alpha's Mate," Boyd interjected. "Keep in mind… I know what it's like to lose someone close… it hurts like hell every single day. I can't even imagine what that would do to Derek."

Nobody could respond to a statement like that. Boyd rarely spoke… but when he did, it was poignant.

The pack remained silent. They were at a loss. There was no way they could come up with that would free Stiles and permit him to live.

* * *

Deaton hadn't been much help. Aside from a few sigils that could be carved into Stiles' skin to contain the demon, without a source of magic nearly equal to Stiles', there was little that could be done by way of spell casting.

"Can't we use a combination of sigils to suppress Malphas then bring Stiles to the surface and have him cast the spells?" Derek suggested, desperate for an answer.

Deaton shook his head. "I can do some more research, Derek… but you may have to face it… Stiles might die in your attempt to get rid of Malphas. He knew what he was doing when he allowed himself to—"

"STOP!" Derek interjected. "I can't think that way right now. I have to get Stiles back."

"And what if you have to choose?" Deaton demanded. "What if Malphas makes you choose between Stiles or your pack? Would Stiles want you to allow his sacrifice to be in vain?"

"Just find a way!" Derek growled, walking out of the veterinary clinic and slamming the door. Deaton was right, though. What if this was Stiles' plan… allow himself to be taken so that Malphas would be killed? He knew that Stiles would never want Derek to choose him over the pack. "Damn it, Stiles…" he said to himself as he leaned against his car.

"You rang?" Malphas said, appearing next to him.

"What do you want now?" Derek demanded.

"I know what you're trying to do, Derek…" Malphas replied. "And while it's incredibly noble and romantic, it's also an incredible waste of your time. I'm a prince among demons. Do you think a few lousy symbols carved into your Mate's skin is going to do anything other than piss me off? I mean honestly… it's like you're not even putting forth an effort!"

"I really just want you to let Stiles go and leave me and my pack alone," Derek begged.

"And where would be the fun in that?" Malphas teased.

"Just tell me what you need me to do before you'll give Stiles back to me," Derek said, too tired for the banter Malphas so obviously desired.

"I want his magic," Malphas replied simply.

"Why?" Derek asked.

Malphas smiled. "Aren't you the curious little pup today…"

"I'm not in the mood for your games. Just tell me why?"

"You're really no fun since I stole your Mate away, Derek," Malphas pouted. "If you must know… Demons can't live in this world outside a host. But we can't stay in hosts for too long because their emotions… they start to degrade our powers. With Stiles' magic, I can create a body for myself and from there… I'll watch you all burn."

"Then why don't you just take his magic?" Derek asked.

"If it were that simple, don't you think I would have by now? Do you know how nauseating his love for you is?" Malphas replied. "I need him to hand it over willingly. I can't use it at the moment because of the blocks. But even without the blocks, I would need him to actually give me his magic."

"Then let me talk to him!" Derek pleaded. "I can convince him… please…"

Malphas thought it over for a moment. "Why the hell not…" he mused. The black voids retreated to Stiles' brown eyes.

"Derek…" Stiles whispered, hugging his Mate tightly. "You need to stay strong. I can barely feel our bond."

Derek breathed Stiles in, clutching him close to his body. "He just wants your magic… give it to him and he'll let you return to me."

Stiles pushed away, looking into Derek's eyes. "You know I can't do that… To give him that much dark magic… you know what kind of effect that could have."

Derek shook his head. "And we'll deal with it then… right now, I _need_ you back with me. I need to know you're safe."

It bothered Stiles to see his Mate like this. "I can't do that, Derek. I can't endanger every person in the world… We'll find another way. _You'll_ find another way."

"There is no other way, Stiles!" Derek snapped. "Just give him your fucking magic… I'm losing my mind without you."

"Obviously… if you thought I'd agree to this. Derek, I let myself get possessed because I have faith in you. I need you to have that same faith in me," Stiles replied.

Derek rested his hand on the side of Stiles' face. Tears were once again spilling from his eyes. He had never been so emotional since the fire. "I _do_ have faith in you. It's me I don't have faith in. I need you back, Stiles. We can handle him later. Every atom in my being physically hurts without you. Just do it… please, Stiles. I wouldn't ask you if I had any other way… just come home. We'll find a way to stop him."

Stiles shook his head. He focused his energy on ensuring that Malphas couldn't hear anything. "There's only one way that this can end. We deprive him of a living host," he said softly. He couldn't look at Derek while he suggested it. "We tell him that I agreed to give him my magic. And in front of the pack… kill me."

Derek was horrified. "I can't do that…"

"Let me live as his host… or free me."

Tears spilled from Derek's eyes. Even the thought of Stiles dying was horrifying. But to be the one who did it? "What you're asking me to do… and for the entire pack to know it was me… to _blame_ me…"

"They will know that you did it to save them… they'll respect you," Stiles replied, finally looking up at the saddened eyes of his love.

He pulled Stiles into a kiss. Stiles could feel Malphas encroaching, but he wanted his last kiss with Derek to be something that Derek could remember for the rest of his life. He wanted it to convey all the love and admiration he had for the Alpha because he knew he wouldn't be there to tell Derek how much he loved and adored him. He pushed Derek away right before the darkness closed in and Malphas regained control.

"What's wrong?" the demon asked.

"He'll do it," Derek replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Then rejoice!" Malphas cheered. "You'll get your little toy back and everything will be better… well, it won't be because I'm going to destroy the world… but at least you'll die with your Mate by your side. That's something to look forward to."

Derek nodded, unable to shake loose from the grip of the fact that he was going to have to kill the man he loved.

"The ritual has to be performed in front of the pack," Derek added.

"Why?" Malphas demanded.

"I didn't ask. I'm not the one with magic. Do you want it or not?" Derek snapped.

Malphas cackled with glee. "You deserve a milk bone! Let's go now." In the blink of an eye, he'd disappeared and reappeared in the passenger seat of Derek's car.

They drove in silence back to the Hale manor as Derek did his best to ready himself for what he was about to do.

His pack met him at the door with a chorus of "Stiles?"

"Not exactly," Malphas replied with a smile. "But soon enough."

"You brought the demon here?" Peter growled. "Derek… are you kidding me?"

"Peter, shut up," Derek ordered, his voice soft. "Everyone, circle around me and the demon."

"Why?" Cora asked.

"JUST DO IT!" Derek roared. When they had obeyed, Derek looked at Malphas. "You need to let Stiles surface so he can say the incantation."

Malphas grinned, allowing the black to once again fade as Stiles was thrust to the surface. Everyone in the pack smiled upon seeing their friend. Stiles looked only at Derek. "I have faith in you," he whispered.

All of them watched in shock and disbelief as Derek shifted and with all his strength, drove his claws into Stiles' chest and stomach. "DEREK NO!" Isaac screamed. Peter had to hold him back, secretly glad that his nephew had seen reason.

Scott stood motionless as he watched his brother bleed. Derek wept as Stiles went limp. Carefully, he set Stiles' body onto the ground, kneeling by his side. After several minutes, the shadows exited his Mate, hanging between the werewolves. Malphas had nowhere to go. All the live bodies around him, and none of them were capable of being possessed. He was suffocating on the anguish, love, and grief in the room… and suffocating without a host. He spun around, watching as none of the werewolves paid him any attention, all of them focused on the sight of Derek holding Stiles' dead body in his arms, the way he had before.

Then Malphas felt them… the flames licking his skin… consuming him. "No…" he yelled, his screams falling on deaf ears. "NO! THEY TRICKED ME!" He wouldn't survive this failure. He knew that. Even if he were able to get back to the underworld in time, he wouldn't want to. He'd be tortured for eternity for a failure of this magnitude. He chose death over the alternative of returning to his brothers.

The pack mourned. Derek mourned. His Mate's blood was quite literally on his hands. He bent over and placed one last kiss on his Mate's lips.

"How dare you!" Scott screamed. "How dare you kiss him after what you did!"

Derek looked up. He couldn't argue. He could only explain to his pack why he did it and hope that Stiles was right. "Stiles asked me to," he said softly, his eyes returning to the peaceful look on his Mate's face. "Nothing we would have been able to do would have allowed us to save Stiles without dooming everyone else. He made this sacrifice for us. He wanted you all to know that he loved his pack."

Scott sank to his knees beside Stiles. "We could have found something else…"

"No," Derek replied. "Stiles knew that."

* * *

Stiles had never been religious. He never had much of a relationship with anything to do with the afterlife. The closest he ever got was when Peter was resurrected. So as he basked in the white emptiness that was death, he was surprised to find he was not alone. "You've made me so proud…" a female voice cooed.

Stiles struggled to focus. The image slowly became more clear. It was an image he had seen numerous times in photos that dotted his house. He couldn't believe it. He actually heard his mother's voice. "Mom?" he asked, tears spilling down his cheeks. She nodded, embracing him. Stiles never had an expectation of what it would be like to see his mom… to feel her embrace him… to smell the perfume in her hair. So as he did all of those things, he was overcome by his emotion. He squeezed her tightly.

"I'm glad I got to hug you this once…" she whispered.

"What do you mean?" Stiles asked. He didn't want to spend death alone if he could be with his mom. "Can't we stay together?"

"There's only one thing I'd want more…" she replied, placing a loving hand on his cheek.

He put his on top of hers, interlocking his fingers. "Mom… don't leave me…"

She smiled at him. "I won't… I never have. But right now… there's someone who needs you more than I do. What you did… it takes an incredible amount of bravery and love. That sort of power can transcend even death."

"I'm scared," Stiles managed.

"Don't be. Have faith in him," she said. "We'll see each other again one day… and when we do, we'll be able to be a family. I love you Stiles… I always have."

He felt her fading away, "I love you too, mom!" he called, no longer able to feel her skin on his. That sensation was replaced by another. He felt Derek's arm, holding him.

"Listen…" Peter said, pausing.

All of the werewolves stood perfectly still, focusing on the sounds. "All I hear is heartbeats," Cora said dismissively.

Isaac strained to listen closer. "That's not the right number…"

"Then where is it coming from?" Scott asked. All of the wolves eyes trained on the limp body in their Alpha's arms.

Stiles eyes slowly opened. "I thought I told you to have faith," he whispered.

Derek didn't know how to react. Every emotion poured through his head like lightning. "But… how?"

"Just kiss me," Stiles smiled. Derek was all too happy to oblige.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading… I know the feels were probably intense. I cried several times in the process of writing it. I'll be adding an epilogue in the next day or two so you can see how the Hale Pack grew and changed after. Please give feedback!


	3. Epilogue

Stiles was weak for days. He could barely move, but he didn't have to. Derek stayed by his side, unwilling to leave his Mate for anything. And even though Stiles was asleep for much of the time, Derek just needed the feel of him in his arms, and remind himself that he still had the man he loved by some miracle.

When he was finally strong enough to get up, Derek treated him like he was made of glass. Stiles found it endearing. Even when Stiles got up to use the bathroom, Derek was there, "Do you need me to help?"

"I've been doing it on my own for a while… but thanks," Stiles replied with a smile. One of the reasons he was so weak was his magic felt different. He couldn't use it to heal himself like he would have before. In the privacy of the bathroom, he finally got to see the wounds from where Derek had done the deed. Stiles knew he needed them to heal before Derek saw them because he knew how guilty his Mate would feel.

He focused on his power, trying to do something as simple as make his hands glow. It wouldn't work. For so long, Stiles had come to rely on that magic, he wasn't sure what he would do if it was gone. He didn't feel that struggle between good and bad within him, yet when he looked in the mirror, he could see the glimmer of purple that occasionally flashed since he discovered his power.

Stiles splashed some cool water on his face before returning to bed. Derek avoided eye contact and Stiles knew that he probably would for a while. Over the next few days while he was still resting, various pack members came in and visited with him, but Derek was always quick to shoo them out if he thought Stiles was being overstimulated. Stiles realized that he felt stronger when Derek was close by. His magic did, too.

When he was finally feeling normal, he began to experiment with his magic. He realized that it was operating differently. He had always focused on love to filter out any of the evil that might be associated with it. Now, he had to focus on Derek and none of it felt dark.

Everyone had questions, the most prominent of which being: "How did you survive? We all watched you die."

Stiles only told Derek the answer.

And then there was the issue of Derek's frantic nature while they were gone. It worried Stiles that Derek could sink so quickly without him. He was, after all, the Alpha. His pack looked to him for strength and guidance. "I know it was painful for you," Stiles said. "But you've been in pain before."

"Not like this," Derek replied. "Not only did it physically hurt to be cut off from you… but the entire situation… it reminded me of Paige. And when you asked me to kill you… once again, I was in the position of having to kill the person I love out of mercy."

Stiles remained silent. He'd forgotten all about that. "I'm sorry," Stiles said finally. "I completely forgot. I never meant to…"

"It's alright," Derek's voice was soft and forgiving. "I got you back. That's all that matters."

"It just worries me that you were so lost without me," Stiles sighed.

Derek looked away. "I have survived many things, Stiles… but losing you is something that I just can't bounce back from. If you hadn't come back… I had a plan."

"What do you mean?"

Derek strummed up the courage to word what was on his mind. Even discussing it was still painful. "I keep several sprigs of wolfsbane in the basement for just in case. I was going to kill myself."

"Derek… no…" Stiles murmured, his eyes getting tearful. "Does your life mean so little to you that you'd throw it away because of me?"

Derek shook his head, wrapping his arms around Stiles, bringing him in close. Derek could hear Stiles' steady heartbeat, smell the salt on his skin, feel the breath of his Mate on his neck. "No… your life means so much to me that I'd give mine to spend eternity with you." For the first time since they'd met, Derek had rendered Stiles utterly speechless.

* * *

**A/N**: Alright. Thank you for reading! This story became way more angsty and full of feels than I ever anticipated. I hope you enjoyed it. I got teary writing it so many times… Especially the epilogue! Also, even though I started this before the information we discovered in the episode "Visionary" I saw too many parallels not to include at least a reference to it. If you have any questions about this AU that weren't answered, please ask, I'll do my best to respond!


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